Grieving in lockdown

Here's my article for November:

In the church November is traditionally a month to remember loved ones that have died, and some churches hold memorial services where the deceased are remembered (though others like us hold them around Christmas time). This year, however, a lot of these services will not be able to take place, at least not in the usual way. And for a lot of people this will be very difficult.

As the lockdown started and attendance at funerals was limited, the feeling was that everything would be getting back to normal by September and we could hold individual memorial services for those who'd had limited funerals. The annual memorial service would also become an even more important part of the grieving process. Those feelings seem to be a long time ago!

Grief can be a terrible state, but the effect of the pandemic on the bereaved is immense. Not only were funerals not able to be as planned or desired, but contact with the dying loved one was often difficult or impossible and the normal human reactions of hugs of consolation etc. were discouraged. It is also difficult for those who have been bereaved in previous years: birthdays and anniversaries may have usually involved family get-togethers or visits to significant places, but this year had to marked in very different ways. The virus has claimed lots of lives, and continues to make it difficult for those who mourn.

What can we say in these circumstances? As the cold November rain falls, the threats of lockdowns continue, and the light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be a train heading towards us, is there any comfort?

When Jesus started his ministry Luke records that he gives his 'mission statement' quoting from Isaiah 61, which includes these words “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me...He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Although this first and foremost applies to those who grieve because of their sins, it also applies to grief in the usual sense. And Jesus fulfils this mission in two ways: firstly he walks with us 'through the valley of the shadow of death' (Psalm 23). Even when governments stop us gathering together and comforting each other in the usual ways, they cannot stop Jesus being present with us; and he can touch our innermost parts, our deepest hurts and longings, and he can heal them.

The second way he fulfils his mission is even more wonderful: he defeats death itself by dying and rising back to life. It is no longer a threat. It is no longer the end. Jesus lives! Death (and COVID-19) is defeated! And in the words of a hymn: “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, because He lives, all fear is gone; because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because He lives!”