Do you feel like giving up?

Here's my article for the February magazine:


Lent is traditionally a time when we forego pleasures and treats in order to detach ourselves from the temptations of 'the world, the flesh and the devil' and focus instead on God and the blessings he brings. Although we may not be so good at the second part of that, we seem to have been going without pleasures and treats for almost a year now – lockdown and COVID restrictions are almost a state-enforced Lent!

This imposed 'giving-up' is causing a deeper mental health issue of people giving up on life: the strain of coping with uncertain futures or job prospects; added to the worry about catching the virus, or loved ones catching it; on top of trying to get children to learn at home; all this can become too much. Help might be sought in alcohol or drugs, or even just wanting to hide in a dark corner and cry for hours. If you do feel like this, please find someone to talk to, and you're welcome to contact me, or to pop into church any time we're open.

But perhaps there is a healthier way to 'give up'. I read an article last year that had some good advice about some things that we should be giving up. Firstly, “give up thinking you are the only one feeling this way, struggling this way. You are not alone. It is normal in a time of huge uncertainty to feel somewhat lost, frustrated, fed up.” One of the benefits of talking to people when you're feeling that everything is getting on top of you is that you find out that others are feeling the same way. Around thirty or so years after Jesus' death, resurrection and ascension, Peter wrote to some groups of Christians who were being persecuted for their faith in Jesus with these words: “you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings” (1 Peter 5:9). Give up feeling you are alone.

Secondly, “give up trying to come up with a grand plan, and instead focus on some small wins.” This is particularly helpful for those who are trying to teach children at home – perhaps getting a child to do twenty minutes of work happily is better than forcing them to do four hours of work reluctantly. It would certainly be better for the family atmosphere!! But all of us are tempted to create big dreams for ourselves to give ourselves hope and purpose, things like “In a few months time, when this pandemic is over I'll go there or do that.” When the circumstances change and we can't fulfil those dreams, we end up despairing – better to have small short term aims that have a realistic chance of being achieved.

Finally “give up thinking it is entirely up to you. God hasn’t given up, and that is our single biggest source of encouragement. God is not surprised by anything that is happening. God is still at work, and wants to help us through.” None of us as individuals can stop the spread of the virus, or prevent people dying, or save the NHS; nor can we keep all of the plates spinning in our own lives. We need the help of family and friends, which is still possible even in lockdown, and of course God is not bound by government restrictions! God knows you and loves you; God knows your situation and your struggles; turn to him for hope and help. The writer of Psalm 71 cried out to God in his time of trouble and was able to say “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up” (verse 20).